Four Photos, Four Stories (Season Finale)

How to Make Pansit Lomi
(Reader’s Discretion is Advised)

Pancit Lomi is a local dish made with a variety of thick noodles. There are a lot of ways on how to prepare Pansit Lomi. One of the best Lomi I tasted was prepared by an old hag who told me that she is a direct descendant of Lady Morgana of the Pendragon. As I loved the way she cooked her Lomi, I kindly asked for her recipe and she gave me a note on how to prepare one as follows:

1. Small pieces of meat (usually from a virgin lass, sometimes from a one month old baby) and a pregnant woman’s liver, are thinly sliced then sauteed with garlic and shallots. It is then cooked until tender.

2. Next, salt, finely ground black pepper and some fresh blood taken from a tortured fellow are added at this point. It is important that the fellow is in agony while the fresh blood is taken.

3. Then soup stock is added to prepare the broth. Next the lomi noodle and some cabbage is added. While waiting for the noodles to cook, a mixture of dried maggots and chopped road kill frogs are blended with a small amount of water is added to thicken the soup.

4. Before the cooked Lomi is transferred to a bowl, an ovary taken from a decaying carcass of a woman is added to complete the dish.

5. Toppings may be included such as  slices of an old man’s tounge, a limb of a human fetus, cooked eyeballs of a newly dead man, and some dead skins.

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A lot of thanks to Lou of Taking A Deep Breath for nominating me to the “Four Photos, Four Stories” challenge. 🙂